Topic Overview
Violence can happen to anyone—males or females, children, teens,
adults, older adults, or people with disabilities. You are not to blame. No
matter what happened, violence is not okay. Violent people usually have many
problems that they find hard to deal with, which can cause them to act out with
violence.
Physical abuse includes hitting, pushing, shaking,
slapping, kicking, pinching, choking, strangling, and burning. Physical abuse
may come from a stranger, an acquaintance, or a close friend or family
member. Many victims of abuse know their attacker.
Violent
behavior can also hurt you emotionally. You may feel sad or frightened.
Feelings of guilt may prevent you from getting help. But it is important for
you to seek help and continue to get help for yourself as long as you need it.
Talk to your local child or adult protective agency, the police, or a health
professional, such as a doctor, nurse, or counselor. You can also call a local
mental health clinic. Any of these people can help you deal with your feelings,
get medical treatment if needed, and take steps to stop the abuser.
Check your symptoms to decide if and when you should see
a doctor or get other help.
Check Your Symptoms
Home Treatment
If you feel threatened, you
must have a
plan for dealing with a threatening situation. If a
family member or someone else has threatened to harm you or your child, seek
help:
- If you need immediate help, call 911.
- Call
the National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233) or see the website at www.ndvh.org. for free, confidential
counseling and information about local community resources.
- Tell
someone: the police, a trusted friend, a spiritual adviser, or a health
professional. If the incident occurred at work, contact your human resources
department for help.
- Find local
resources that can help in a crisis. Your local YMCA,
YWCA, police department, mental health clinic, or hospital has information on
shelters and safe homes.
- Be alert to warning signs, such as
threats or drunkenness, so that you can avoid a dangerous situation. If you
cannot predict when violence may occur, have an exit plan for use in an
emergency.
- If a child tells you that he or she has been abused, stay
calm. Tell the child that you believe him or her and that you will do your best
to keep him or her safe. Report the abuse to the local police or child
protective services agency. For more information, see the topic
Child Abuse and Neglect.
If you are no longer living with a violent person, contact the
police to obtain a restraining order if your abuser continues to pursue you and
act violently toward you.
If you know someone who may be a victim of violent behavior
Here are some things you can do to help a friend or
family member.
- Let your friend know you are willing to listen
whenever she or he wants to talk. Don't confront your friend if she or he is
not ready to talk. Encourage your friend to talk with her or his health
professional, human resources manager, and supervisor to see what resources
might be available.
- Tell your friend that the abuse is not her or
his fault and that no one deserves to be abused. Remind your friend that
violence is against the law and that help is available. Be understanding if she
or he is unable to leave. She or he knows the situation best and when it is
safest to leave.
- If your friend has children, gently point out
that you are concerned that the violence is affecting them. Many people do not
understand that their children are being harmed until someone else talks about
this concern.
- Encourage and help your friend develop a
safety plan. This plan will help keep your friend and
her or his children safe during a violent incident, when preparing to leave,
and after leaving.
The most important step is to help your friend contact local
domestic violence groups. There are programs across the country that provide
options for safety, legal support, support, and needed information and
services. To find the nearest program:
- Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233), or see the website at www.ndvh.org.
- Call the National Center for Victims of Crime at 1-800-FYI-CALL (1-800-394-2255), or see the website at www.ncvc.org/ncvc/main.aspx?dbID=dash_Home.
The most dangerous time for your friend may be when she or
he is leaving the abusive relationship, so any advice about leaving must be
informed and practical.
Violence is learned behavior, so it is
especially important to help your children learn that violence is not a healthy
way to resolve conflict. Living in a violent environment increases your child's
chances of developing behavior problems,
depression,
anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, poor school
achievement, and lowered expectations for the future. People who are maltreated
as children are more likely to abuse others. If you were ever abused, it is
very important to get treatment so that you learn different ways to resolve
conflict and use appropriate discipline.
If you have been a victim of abuse and continue to have
problems related to the abuse, you may experience mental health problems, such
as depression, anxiety, or
post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). For more
information, see the topics
Depression,
Anxiety, or
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
Symptoms to watch for during home treatment
If violence occurs again, call your doctor to decide if and when you need to see your doctor or get other
help.
Prevention
Prevent violence in your home.
- Learn nonviolent ways to resolve conflicts.
Arguing is fine, even healthy, as long as it does not turn violent. For more
information on anger control, see the topic
Anger, Hostility, and Violent Behavior.
Keep yourself safe from violence.
- Be alert to warning signs, such as threats or
drunkenness, so that you can avoid a dangerous situation. If you can't predict
when violence may occur, have an
exit plan for use in an emergency.
- Prevent violence with guns
and other weapons. Do not provide your children or teenagers with unsupervised
access to guns or other dangerous weapons.
- Do not keep loaded guns in your
home.
- If you must keep guns in your home, unload them and lock
them up. Lock ammunition in a separate place.
- Do not keep guns
in a home where there is someone who has a drug or alcohol problem, is prone to
violent behavior, or has threatened suicide.
- Make sure that no one
in your home will have access to guns or other weapons unless they know how
to use them safely.
- If you are no longer living with a violent person,
contact the police to obtain a restraining order if your abuser continues to
pursue you and act violently toward you.
- Teach your children that
violence is not a solution. Settle arguments without yelling or hitting. Do not
use physical discipline, such as spanking, pinching, ear pulling, jabbing,
shoving, choking, or strangling. If you need help controlling your children,
consider taking a course in parenting skills.
- Limit your child's
exposure to TV, movies, and video games to no more than 1 to 2 hours per day.
- Watch for signs of violent behavior in your child or teen.
Preparing For Your Appointment
To prepare for your appointment, see the topic Making the Most of Your Appointment.
If you have made an
appointment with your health professional, you may be able to get the most from
your visit by being prepared to answer the following questions:
A recent event
- Has someone hit, slapped, kicked, or otherwise
physically hurt you on purpose?
- Has someone forced you to have
sexual activities?
- What kind of injuries do you
have?
- What triggered the abuser's violent behavior?
- Has
the abuser threatened violence against your children? Is he or she violent
toward your children?
- Has the abuser hurt a pet or destroyed things
that belong to you?
- Is the person who harmed you using any alcohol
or illegal drugs?
- Does the person who harmed you have access to
guns or other violent weapons?
- Do you have any
risk factors that increase your chance of becoming a victim of violent
behavior?
If you need immediate help, call 911.
A history of abusive behavior
- Have you ever been emotionally or physically
abused by your partner or someone important to you?
- How long have
you felt threatened by the violent behavior of someone else?
- Are
you the victim of angry outbursts or violent actions?
- Do another
person's violent outbursts occur at regularly spaced time
periods?
- Has the abuse increased recently?
- What kind of
injuries has the abuse caused? Did you seek health care for the injuries? When
and where?
- Does the abuser control most or all your activities
every day?
- What triggers the abuser's violent
behavior?
- Has the abuser threatened violence against your children?
Is he or she violent toward your children?
- Has the abuser hurt a
pet or destroyed things that belong to you?
- Is the person who
harmed you using any alcohol or illegal drugs?
- Does the person who
harmed you have access to guns or other violent weapons?
- Does your
family have a history of violent behavior?
- Has the abuser ever been
diagnosed with depression or a mental illness, such as
bipolar disorder,
schizophrenia, or personality disorder?
- Do you have any
risk factors that increase your chance of becoming a victim of violent
behavior?
Another resource for help is the National Domestic Violence
Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE, 1-800-799-7233) or see the website at www.ndvh.org for free, confidential counseling and information
about local community resources.
Other Places To Get Help
Organization
| National Domestic Violence Hotline |
| Phone: | 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233) |
| TDD: | 1-800-787-3224 |
| Email: | ndvh@ndvh.org (email is not confidential or secure) |
| Web Address: | www.ndvh.org |
| |
The National Domestic Violence Hotline offers crisis
intervention, information about domestic violence, and referrals to local
service providers for victims of domestic violence (men, women, and teens) and those
calling on their behalf. The hotline is available 24 hours a day, 365 days a
year, in English, Spanish, and other languages. The hotline connects callers to
more than 4,000 shelters and service providers in the United States, Puerto
Rico, and the U.S. Virgin Islands. |
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Credits
| By | Healthwise Staff |
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| Primary Medical Reviewer | William H. Blahd, Jr., MD, FACEP - Emergency Medicine |
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| Specialist Medical Reviewer | H. Michael O'Connor, MD - Emergency Medicine |
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| Last Revised | December 23, 2011 |
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