COVID-19 has infiltrated my life. Life’s routine as I know it stopped. New ways of living emerge. Focused, scheduled life in the hospital and in social life ended. I miss it. Sleeping in, an unheard-of experience before this virus, is a daily occurrence. Meals always planned for a certain time now happen when they happen. Daily rituals of showering, hair washing, dressing, and make-up happen in the afternoon instead of before dawn. Carefully planned coordinated outfits change to daily yoga wear. Quick texts and hurried voice messages evolve into lengthy ramblings. Yes, my life has changed.
New ways of thinking and acting protect the health and welfare of our world, as well as our community, state, and nation. Crisis, social distance, quarantine, sequester, isolation, the curve, hoarding, masking, gloving, catastrophe, disinfecting, infection — unusual words become daily verbiage. Feelings of life — uncertain, anxious, unfocused, interrupted, discombobulated, unsure, rudderless, questioning, unsettled, stuck, upended — surface in my usual ordered world.
The question was clear to me as an individual: What do you do with this newfound life? Each person answers differently to suit their needs. I establish a schedule, not hard and fast but a configuration that works for me and my husband. I find TV programs (something I NEVER had time for before!) that will entertain and challenge me. I paint with watercolors. I practice Tai Chi with my husband every morning to ensure our balance and lift our spirits. I walk a few miles each day with a notebook in hand to jot thoughts along the way. I wave and greet the increasing numbers of walkers. I Zoom with family members and colleagues for essential meetings. I buy colorful Adirondack chairs for the front porch like our neighbors so we can greet walking neighbors, too. I read to be informed and entertained and listen to songs of comfort.
And yes, I pray. As a chaplain, that’s what I do. On the phone, I console the family members of deceased patients. I pray for the sick, for those who care for them, for our world, that it will be whole. I pray we will learn from this pandemic and begin new ways of living with new knowledge.
Just like the rest of us, I try to make sense of the powerful force that changes our lives. I stay informed, stay observant of rules and regulations that ensure personal and community safety. I admire and sincerely thank those who serve in the most difficult of positions: healthcare workers, first responders, essential workers, government leaders. I conference call to huddle and meet each weekday morning with our palliative care group. I admire the thoroughness and professionalism of each person as we address the needs of patients both in the hospital and at home.
COVID-19 is the profound test of our society. I, along with fellow citizens of the world, step up to the challenge — living in the present and preparing for the future. On the pavement in the park, written in bright pink letters, I observed during my morning walk this affirmation: “We’re going to be okay!”
Yes, whatever happens — good or bad — we’re going to be okay.