Cyberbullying and suicide risk: How parents can spot warning signs

September is Suicide Prevention Month, a time to remember that someone can be hurting even when we can’t see it. A friend may grow quieter, a child may carry something they don’t know how to tell you, or someone you love may be trying to get through a day that feels much heavier than it looks from the outside.

For Rachel Johnson, Director of Community Connect at Intermountain Health and a parent, that reality hit close to home after a 12-year-old student in her daughter’s school community died by suicide.

The loss was devastating, leaving Rachel thinking about what children may carry beneath the surface and how much of their lives can unfold beyond the view of the adults who love them.

“I was unprepared as a parent,” Rachel says.

We can’t see every part of a child’s life, especially as more of it happens online. What we can do is make it easier for them to tell us when something doesn’t feel right.

Help kids talk about self-harm, suicide and troubling online experiences

For parents and caregivers, everyday conversations can show kids they can bring you the uncomfortable things, too, including a friendship that fell apart, a mistake they regret or an online interaction they’re embarrassed to explain.

Rachel saw this with her own daughter, who suddenly became quiet after an otherwise good day together.

“I saw my child shut down,” Rachel says. “She didn’t want to share with me what was going on.”

Rachel gently checked in, and her daughter eventually shared that she had experienced hurtful interactions with friends through FaceTime and text messages.

Her daughter was not experiencing a suicidal crisis, but the moment showed Rachel how easily a child can be carrying something a parent knows nothing about.

“Whatever happens, you’re not going to get into trouble,” Rachel says. “It’s important that you open up to us.”

That first response can shape whether a child feels comfortable coming back the next time something goes wrong.

Matt Christensen, Assistant Vice President and Deputy Chief Information Security Officer at Intermountain Health, says even when parents are worried or upset by what they hear, listening should come before reacting.

“The very first thing any parent should do is put their arm around their kid and say thank you,” Matt says. “It takes a lot of courage.”

Matt cautions against immediately taking away a phone, game or app, which can make kids reluctant to speak up again. Giving them space to talk first helps parents understand what happened and what support they need.

Know how online threats can increase the risk of self-harm and suicide

As more of childhood unfolds online, kids can encounter experiences parents may never see. A 2026 Pew Research Center report based on teens surveyed in fall 2025 found:

• Roughly 3 in 4 teen users on TikTok, Instagram and Snapchat say harassment and bullying are a problem for people their age.
• 27% of teen Snapchat users, 19% of Instagram users and 18% of TikTok users say they have personally experienced at least one form of harassment Pew measured.

Most online conflicts don’t become severe, but parents should know more serious forms of targeting exist. In 2025, the FBI warned about increased activity from “764” and similar violent online networks that target minors and other vulnerable people.

The FBI says these groups may use social media, gaming platforms and mobile apps to gain a young person’s trust, then use manipulation, threats or blackmail to pressure them into harmful acts, including self-harm. In the most serious cases, that coercion has involved suicide.

Online experiences are one part of a much larger picture of suicide risk. Whether you’re worried about a child, friend, partner or someone else you love, knowing the warning signs can help you recognize when it’s time to check in.

Common warning signs of suicide

There is no single picture of what someone who is thinking about suicide looks like. Some people may talk openly about what they’re feeling, while others may show changes in their mood, behavior or daily routines.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, warning signs of suicide may include:

• Talking about wanting to die
• Feeling hopeless, trapped or like a burden to others
• Feeling unbearable emotional or physical pain
• Withdrawing from friends and family
• Saying goodbye or giving away important belongings
• Planning or researching ways to die
• Taking dangerous risks
• Showing extreme mood swings
• Eating or sleeping much more or less than usual
• Using alcohol or drugs more often

Pay particular attention when concerning behaviors are new or have increased. If something someone says or does worries you, check in.

Ask about suicide, even when the question feels hard

Asking someone if they’re thinking about suicide can feel frightening. You may worry about saying the wrong thing or hearing an answer you don’t feel prepared for. You may even worry that bringing up suicide could put the idea in their head.

If you’re concerned, ask clearly and directly: “Are you thinking about suicide?”

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, asking about suicide does not increase suicidal thoughts or behavior. A direct question can give someone an opportunity to talk honestly about what they’re experiencing.

What should you do if someone is thinking about suicide?

The National Institute of Mental Health recommends five action steps to help someone who may be having thoughts of suicide:

• Ask. Ask directly, “Are you thinking about suicide?” and give them room to answer honestly.
• Be there. Listen without judgment and give them your attention.
• Help keep them safe. If someone may act on suicidal thoughts, help reduce access to things they could use to hurt themselves.
• Help them connect. Reach out together to a trusted family member, mental health professional or crisis resource such as the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988.
• Follow up. Keep checking in after the immediate crisis so they know support is still there.

Your role is to take what they tell you seriously, stay connected and help them reach the right support.

If someone tells you they’re thinking about suicide, take it seriously.

Call or text 988 for free, confidential crisis support, or call 911 if there is an immediate, life-threatening danger. Intermountain Health’s Behavioral Health Navigation Services at 833-442-2211 can also help people connect with behavioral health care.

For ongoing mental health and well-being, explore CredibleMind resources and assessments.

We may not always see what the people we love are carrying, but noticing a change, asking a difficult question and staying close can help someone take the next step toward support.