How to build a balanced, guilt-free Thanksgiving plate

Thanksgiving has a way of stirring up a mix of emotions because the holiday table brings together more than food; it brings memories.

The smell of stuffing might remind you of your childhood kitchen. That slice of pie might make you think of someone who isn’t there this year. And if you’re trying to eat healthier, it can also bring something else: guilt.

Kelly Elliot, a bariatric clinical dietitian at Intermountain Health, says it’s normal to feel torn between comfort and control when it comes to food. She sees it every year. “Some people may find family get-togethers stressful, some might find them overwhelming, while others find joy and comfort in being together with friends and family,” Kelly explains. “Sometimes it is the first holiday after losing a loved one and that can feel very challenging and sad.”

For others, it’s the discomfort of being the one eating differently. “It is hard to be the one that is eating a bit differently this year or differently than everyone else,” she says. “We think fondly of the smells, the tastes, and the memories of all of our favorite holiday foods and we don't want to feel left out.”

Rethink what Thanksgiving really means

Kelly helps patients see that Thanksgiving doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing experience. “A win-win can absolutely exist!” she says. “You can enjoy yourself and still feel good about your nutrition at the end of the day!”

She encourages people to think ahead and plan their plate (and their mindset) before the big meal. “Rehearse in your mind what your plate is going to look like and try to decide ahead of time what you would like your plate to look like,” she says. “Remember your goals. It may be that you are trying to lower your cholesterol, control your diabetes, lose weight, or follow your weight loss surgery meal plan.”

Her advice is to stay focused on satisfaction, not restriction. “Maybe a good question to ask yourself is, ‘I can have anything I would like to, but keeping in mind my goals, what is the smallest amount I can eat of something and still be satisfied?’”

That question, she says, can turn guilt into gratitude.

Start with foods that help you feel satisfied, then savor the rest mindfully 

When it comes to building a Thanksgiving plate, Kelly’s biggest reminder is simple: protein and fiber should come first.

“We teach our Bariatric patient population, but it applies to everyone, that protein and fiber are your best friends,” she says. “So make sure to put a good-sized portion of turkey or another lean meat and vegetables on your plate. Eat these two food groups off of your plate first. You will get full faster and stay full longer by prioritizing these two food groups.”

After that, she says, enjoy the foods that mean the most to you, just in smaller portions. “Try to decide what your priorities are with your carbohydrate foods, such as stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, corn casserole, and breads,” Kelly says. There’s nothing wrong with having a small amount of your favorites.

She also encourages slowing down and being fully present. “Take your time, savor each bite, chew well, and wait in between bites so that you can really savor the meal.”

Why “saving up” calories for Thanksgiving dinner backfires

Skipping breakfast or lunch to “save calories” might sound smart, but Kelly says it rarely works. “The hungrier you are going into meal, the harder it is to not overeat and feel over full when the meal is done.”

Kelly recommends having something nourishing earlier in the day – like a nourishing breakfast and lunch or at least a snack or protein shake prior to dinner. 

Make small swaps that still taste like tradition 

Kelly’s approach to a healthier Thanksgiving is about making a few easy tweaks to your favorite dishes that keep the flavor but cut back on heaviness.

“Try to have baked, grilled, or roasted meats instead of deep-fried,” she says. “You can also make small adjustments to traditional side dishes that really add up.”

A few of her favorite ideas:

• Skip the fryer. Try baked, grilled or roasted turkey.
• Cut back on added fats. Go lighter on butter and cream in mashed potatoes or stuffing, and use reduced-fat mayo in coleslaw.
• Go half and half. Try half mashed cauliflower and half potatoes for a lighter version of mashed potatoes.
• Rethink the classics. Bake stuffing outside the turkey instead of inside and skip the marshmallows on sweet potatoes.
• Add protein-rich substitutes. Use Greek yogurt or chicken broth instead of butter or cream. It still tastes rich but offers more balance.

Even dessert can fit in. “Pumpkin pie is about half the calories of pecan pie,” Kelly says. “Try eating a small slice or skip the crust and go sparingly on the whipped cream.”

Handling food pressure with grace

Social pressure can make healthy eating tricky. People may comment on how much you’re eating, or not eating, and sometimes feelings get hurt if it seems like you don’t enjoy someone’s food.

Kelly’s advice is to stay kind but firm. “Compliment the food and share that you are getting full or that you are pacing yourself,” she suggests.

If needed, you can be honest about your goals. “Share that you are working on eating healthier with your healthcare team and working hard on lifestyle changes,” she says. 

Remember Thanksgiving is about connection

Kelly encourages families to make new traditions that focus on togetherness instead of food. “Go on a walk, play a game, or go around the table and share what a favorite Thanksgiving memory is,” she says. “One of my favorites is to think of a word that you want to live by every day of the next year.”

Her own word this year? Time. “Take time to remember what is important,” she says. “Take time to sit and pet my dogs a little bit longer, take time to write a letter to my aunt or uncle in the nursing home, and take time at the table to be grateful to have those I love around me.”

Find balance that nourishes your body and feeds your soul

Kelly’s advice is as practical as it is compassionate. “You don't have to deprive yourself to do well,” she says.

So this year, let Thanksgiving be what it’s meant to be: a celebration of comfort, connection, and care. Fill your plate with foods that bring joy. Fill your heart with gratitude. And when the day is done, feel proud of how you showed up for your health and the people you love.

At Intermountain Health, our registered dietitians and wellness experts can help you build a healthy relationship with food during the holidays and every day after. With a team of more than 140 registered dietitian nutritionists, we provide medically sound nutrition advice you can trust. Learn more about our nutritional services.