Dan Afualo and Beka Bracken
What’s the secret to a lasting marriage? When a palliative care team member asked a patient this question, it led to a special date night for the patient and his wife at St. George Regional Hospital.
The patient was dealing with a sudden, debilitating illness that had put him in the hospital for a few months, says Beka Bracken, nurse practitioner. “We knew he’d be discharged soon, but that his life would never return to normal,” she says. “He was going to a long-term care facility. We were unsure whether he’d ever be able to return home.”
Beka, along with Dan Afualo, a social worker, were talking with the patient when Dan asked how long he’d been married. The patient said he’d been married for more than 40 years. This led Dan to ask, “What’s the secret to a long marriage?”
Beka says, “He smiled and said, ‘Friday night date nights.’ Then he said, ‘But we haven’t had one of those in a while.’
“I looked at Dan and I said, ‘You know it’s Friday.’
“We knew his illness would make it hard for the couple to honor this tradition, so we wanted to make an effort to create it for them,” Beka says.
She called room service and coordinated with a few caregivers to create a special date night at the hospital. A family member got takeout for the couple from their favorite restaurant. Susan Wetzel, food services coordinator, brought up cloth napkins and a centerpiece to put on the bedside table. Cindy Etzler, nurse practitioner, helped add a few things in the room to set the mood.
“He and his wife were grateful, and it was fun and fulfilling for us to do something out of the norm,” Beka says.
“Friday night dinner is something both of them have missed,” says the patient’s family member. “They’ve been doing these date nights for as long as I’ve known them. They commented how nice it was to have dinner and just talk. Beka and other staff members bent over backwards to make this happen. The set up was about as perfect as you can get in a hospital room.”
Dan says he often makes a point to ask the “secret to a long marriage” question to patients as an ice breaker. He says he learned the importance of what this question means to patients from social worker Samantha Koehn, his palliative care mentor.
“I think it’s a great question because it helps us to get to know the patient and their primary support person a bit better, and more importantly, where they draw their strength from,” Dan says.
“This is a good example of knowing a patient’s values and providing care that aligns with those values,” Beka adds. “This patient had lost so much of himself during his illness. We wanted to help him regain a sense of self and what matters to him.”